Last night, my little girl Taylor went grocery shopping for herself for the very first time. She’s experimenting with living on her own this week, and since I’m all into couponing and whatnot, I went along to show her the ropes. She gathered up the coupons she wanted like a pro and I’m happy to report that she got a week’s worth of food for $21, and saved $15. It was a thing of beauty. And she got hit on by the deli guy. Fabulous.

In other news, however, I had to go back to the store after she did her shopping (long story. it involves a lot of driving, my brain malfunctioning and having a million kids.) and I witnessed a sad sad scene. College boy.

College boy was checking out in front of me. College boy had a lot of groceries. College boy had exactly $71 dollars to spend. So College boy had to keep taking things out of his bags to deduct the price down to his pocket change. Bye Bye Corn Pops and green beans and Digiornio pizza (which made things worse because they were only on sale if you bought 3, so the price went back up and this confused the checkout lady who couldn’t seem to keep up with any of this) and Trident Gum.

My heart was being ripped into a million pieces.

I couldn’t stand by and watch this happen.

So here’s how it went down.

ME: Hey. Are you in college?
COL: (short for check out lady) Oh yeah, he is.
ME: I feel sad for you. You have to put so much back! And you need to eat!
COL: Happens every day.
ME: (in my head) Hey COL. Shhhhhhh. I’m trying to talk to College Boy.
CB: Yeah, I only have $71. I just sold my truck, but I need to stick to this budget.
ME: Hey, College Boy. If I had a class or something on this subject, would you come to it? Because I would love to help you save money.
COL: I would!
ME: (in my head) Seriously. Shhhhh.
CB: Maybe.
COL: You really should. It would save me a lot of trouble.
ME: (in my head) Lady, you need to go to etiquette class.
CB: If was short and easy and only took a little while.
ME: Gotcha.
COL: How do you save so much money?
ME: Lots of internet stuff, and paper coupons.
COL: Oh. I don’t use the internet.
ME: Wait! I have a coupon for that!
CB: Awesome! Thanks!
COL: Hold on. Now I need to figure this out.
ME: (in my head) seriously. seriously?
CB: Thanks. See ya later.
ME: Later, College boy.
COL: Here’s your receipt, sir. You saved $11.54. I think. Hey, I betcha the people across the street here at the old folks home would like it if you came over there and showed them how to do it!

The End

So, my wheels are turning. Thoughts?

Here. Have a free avocado.

And, no, I’m not worried about COL reading this. She doesn’t use the internet.