I have a cold. Pity me, please.

I drove my kids to school today wearing a bathrobe and no shoes. Or socks.

But I do that everyday.

I’m drinking a huge vat of peppermint tea. Drinking peppermint tea is like drinking a hug.

And this young lady is sitting beside me. I had to scooch over here because she was sitting on me and I couldn’t budge. Or breathe.

I’m telling you all of this because I’m convinced you care.

I went to Target yesterday. I only had about 45 minutes to shop which is not okay. Ever.

So I went for the jugular.

I saved $99.70 and spent $119, and that includes a big thing of toilet paper and Tide, and maybe a Christmas present or two, but I can’t show you those because there’s a certain small person who lives in this house with blond hair and green eyes who’s figured out that sometimes I post things on here that may or may not end up in her possession. So at least until Christmas, she’s holding my blog hostage. Little tyrant.

Here are the highlights.

Candy for my cabbage bowl. Have I told you about my cabbage bowl? It’s only my favorite thing ever. I like it slightly more than my glass chicken candy dish but slightly less than my record player.  But that’s for another time.

Hershey Kisses and Reeses were on sale 2 for $5. I had a $1/2 from coupons.com and a buy 2 get 1 free from last Sunday’s paper, so 3 bags for $4. Lots of drugstores have their candy on sale for less, probably, but I sometimes have trouble wrapping my mind around all the register rewards and secret handshakes and rebates and receipt saving. Maybe someday.

Next we have some feta cheese.

Facebook had the bogo coupon, and smartsource.com and coupons.com had the $1 off any brand of cheese. I used zip code 33313. I have no idea where that is. But it worked. 2 containers of feta for $2.99 total. I like to put it in my tomato basil soup. My sis-in-law Heidi taught me that. Sometimes she makes tomato soup, adds rotel and then throws in some feta. She likes to walk on the wild side.

Free avocado. I just keep printing these coupons and they just keep letting me.

Target gave me this coupon on one of my shopping trips. $1.50 off 3 market pantry items. I think we’re coming to an understanding.

$1.50 for 3 asiago bread loaves. The kids love these for sandwiches, and I can get 3-4 out of each loaf.

Bacon.

Finally, I can afford you. $2.99. Thank you. It’s been too long.

Here we go. 18 packs of oatmeal are $2.66, which is actually not horrible on its own. They have 3 Quaker products for $8 and you get a free Tropicana orange juice. I only had one oatmeal coupon for a dollar, so I got one box of oatmeal, 2 boxes of cereal and orange juice for $7. Wish I had a better story to tell you, but that’s how it went.

Here’s a good one. More cheese.

Okay, so I had a target web coupon for $1/2 Kraft, a coupons.com for $1/2 Kraft and a $1 off any brand cheese you want. That made it .52 a bag. I usually buy blocks and shred them, but sometimes it’s just not gonna happen. And Brad brought home a million slices of cheese from his last event so I really don’t need much more than this.

Good deal this week (until Dec. 11) is buy 2 selected items, get a $5 gift card.

I chose laundry detergent and toilet paper. Not because I wanted to. Because I had to. I had a $1 target coupon from the Sunday insert and a $3 coupon from something I surely ordered in the mail. I’m gonna need an assistant soon to help me remember what on earth I’ve done.

Side note. My kids now bring me coupons from every corner of the earth. Some kids bring their mommy flowers. My kids bring me coupons. That’s how much they love me.

Where was I?

The total was $16, I think. The cold medicine is wearing off and it’s making me not be able to do math. And I can’t find where the calculator on my computer went. I could use the one on my phone, but I’d have to reach over there. By the way, at Rite Aid you can get Arm and Hammer laundry detergent for $1.99 and Tide for $4.99 with the coupon in the paper. I of course figured this out after the fact. While I was buying cold medicine.

Here’s a big one. Buy 2 selected frozen products, get $5 off. Hey Target? You see what you did here?

This $5 was in the Sunday insert. Online Target had a coupon for $4/2. So, 2 of them were $3.60 total. Throw in one more for $4.60. You finish the math. My head hurts. It was a good deal. People always come in my house and eat my food. They can have this.

Here’s another. Smart Ones meals are buy 4, get one free. Target has a coupon for $4 /10. I had a manufacturer sticker (they are on the boxes sometimes) for $3/10.

So I got 10 for $9. I think. I may have to get back to you on that. If I did, that’s pretty good.

One more. Cool Whip. Self explanatory. I can do this math. It was .50 for 2. If it wasn’t, just keep it to yourself.

Okay, I lied. I have to show you one more.

This is what I got all bent out of shape about yesterday.

These are on sale in the Boulder Target. It’s Pictureka. (No, blonde haired green eyed girl. It’s not for you.) And it’s on sale for $3.99. Very clearly on sale for $3.99. I have a coupon for $5 off this exact game. So free.

Except the checkout lady didn’t agree. It rang up $5.79. I say that should be $3.99. She says are you sure. I say yeah, I have a picture of it. I show the picture. The check out lady says you can’t have a coupon for more than the amount of something. I say (in my head) the people in Superior have no problem figuring this out. Out loud I say, I use these on things like this all the time. Why don’t you just type in the amount it’s worth and we’ll be even. She says, no, I’m just  going to use this coupon on the amount it rang up for . And just like that, she wastes my precious $5 coupon. And my cheeks turned really  red. Really really really red.

I have a plan though. I just can’t tell you. In case James from Target is reading this.

But I’m getting that .79 cents back.

Here are some things for you.

Free Townies t-shirt

$1/2 Tony’s pizza

8 free Christmas song downloads from major country artists

Free download of Glee’s Don’t Stop Believin

Blockbuster Express has a free rental that doesn’t expire until Dec. 31. Code is XU14A.

free french fries at Wendy’s

Starbucks is sharing a deal every day until Christmas

Chili’s has a deal every day as well, free appetizers for some of them

Free Bracelet from Tom’s shoes. LOVE this company. They give a pair of shoes to a needy child for every pair that someone buys.

Newman’s Own Coupons You can probably print a lot of these.

Now, it’s my nap time.

Try to keep it down.

I sure do share a lot more deals on my gypsy jules facebook. We should be friends.

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