Never grocery shop with your daughters.  Especially the ones who like makeup, jeggings and food. And cameras. Man, does she love cameras, in front of them or behind them.

Never shop with children in general, if you can avoid it.

Unless you have a generous supply of duct tape and the ability to divert attention while calculating dollar  bills, find what you need, match coupons properly and floss at the same time.

All they do is talk rubbish and throw things they think you’ll never notice into the cart.

Just who do they think I am?

Get a sitter or tether them in the back yard.

They’ll survive.

I bought her (Taylor Joy, in case you have no idea who my eldest is… she’s 17, graduating a year early and completely genius) this for next Christmas. She will be in her own apartment by then.

I chose it because the girl went ahead and got a tattoo with the word Joy in Cherokee. So, I think I’m good with this. Or anything 80’s. Weirdo.

And she has no idea I bought this because:

A. This blog is stupid.

B. Coupons are stupid. Why can’t I buy this without a coupon???

C. There were way too many mirrors.

It was $1.49, marked down from $14.99. Target  has their Christmas stuff for 90% off. So bows for  30 cents and boxes for  2o cents.

I’d show you pictures but I think you know what those look like.

Glad we could have this little chat.

And please don’t leave your kids in the backyard, especially tethered.

Just think it.

And if they have to be with you, make them weigh fruit and guess what an acorn squash is.

And then call it a day.

The end.