Archive for May, 2011

you’re welcome

The packing is going very well. Thank you for asking.

We’re moving out of this house on Monday.

We move into a new place August 1.

You do the math.

Enough about that for now.

Look what I found in a book that I found in a very old suitcase that I found in the homework room.

Does anyone have a time machine? I’d sure like to go back and date him.

Oh. Wait.

How about this one?

I know. You don’t even have to speak.

And then there’s this.

Then we grew up and did things like this.

You’re welcome.

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Grad

My kids have decided that the word Grad sounds like an insult.

You Grad.

Give me all your money, Grad.

Clean my room or I’ll punch you in the face, Grad.

Kind of like Bif. Or Clayton.

My apologies if your mom was drunk and named you one or the other of those.

Or if you lived through the 80’s.

My firstborn is walking the line tomorrow wearing purple head to toe.

Sometime soon you need to hear about the day I found out she was a fetus.

Or an embryo. Semantics.

It was pretty dramatic and epic. And it was dramatic.

And so is she.

In the best way possible, of course.

Congrats, little bug.

You make me proud.

Prom

I’m going to be posting a few times about my eldest child over the next few weeks. Because she’s leaving my home soon.

Selfish.

So just prepare yourselves.

Or look away.

Your choice.

We’re going to start with prom. It was 2 Saturdays ago. I posed as a hairdresser. And a consulting stylist. And a sugar daddy.

I remember my senior prom. I’m pretty sure I jetted home from running track, threw on a dress that was probably my sister’s, feathered my hair, put some lotion on my face and snacked and waited for my date named Toast. His real name was something I can’t remember how to spell, although I can hear it in my head. He was a German exchange student. I wasn’t even going to go to prom but my Aunt Diana guilted me into going with him. She was really good at that. I also went with my brother and his date, Shari. She’s now married to Marlin. Marlin went to a different high school and I was always his backup date for his school dances. I almost died in his car once by choking on a round piece of candy. I was too embarrassed to tell him I was choking but as I was passing out I decided it was best to just hack it out onto the floor.

That was a weird thing to tell you about.

And who lets themself almost die by not wanting to be embarrassed?

Anyway, Tay went to her senior prom.

Here are some pictures of the hair.

We’ll start with her friend Kelly.

Did you see the Sonic cup in the second picture?

Here’s Taylor.

The girl has the thickest hair in the Universe. And she’s 9 feet taller than me.

Sucker.

Here’s the finished product.

This is not her date. That would be creepy.

I have no pictures of her date. He’s terrified of me.

This dress had gum on the hem when she got home.

I got it off with a piece of ice.

No one choked to death.

The End.