2 years ago, Avery Isabella Riley was born to parents Carmel and Remington II.

She’s royalty.

She’s a viszla.

A spastic dog child  with the most ridiculous personality who can now delete “extreme fear of German Shepherds” from her list. Thanks to Cesar Millan and an extreme Boulder dog owner who brought out the sassy “watch me teach this dog what you cannot with your super weird dog guardian skills”.

It’s a dog. Not your estranged son.

Call me. I’m available for sessions.

And now I’m gonna show you what Avery did yesterday.

Which could possibly qualify me as aforementioned guardian.

It’s okay. You just don’t understand.

I just used the word aforementioned. I totally wish someone was here to slap me.

We started the day with a hike up Enchanted Mesa.

This picture looks a hundred years old. Weird.

Then I took her to PetSmart where she acted like a crazed banshee.  Cesar would not have been pleased. I bought her a replacement for her blue thing. Her blue thing is what I use to babysit her when I’m trying to get some work done and she feels the need to follow me from room to room and blocks the doors so I can’t get out until I throw something for her. If you don’t have one of these, I highly recommend it. I took a picture of it.


Go get one.

Next she had a Pawbender at Good Times. These are delicious. And they only cost a $1. Don’t ask me how I know it is delicious. It just is.

Then we went to P.C.’s Pantry.

Yes. It’s a bakery. For dogs and cats. Because I live in Boulder and I can.

Look what they make.

They make Mighty Meatloaf. It is also delicious.

But it totally gets better.

Yes, it is one of Edna’s bowls. I wanted it to be fancy for her. I’m sure Edna will never know.

Happy Birthday, Aves. Thanks for keeping me company.

And scaring the crap out of the UPS guy. That’s my favorite.

The End.