I celebrated my 43rd birthday yesterday.

First thing, I did my yearly mirror assessment. I tend to mostly avoid those things.

I’m happy to say that everything is still in the general vicinity of where it once was.  Generally. Pretty much.

I have, however, made my passage into the age of the elbow.

In other words, any shape you form my elbow skin into, it will stay like that. It’s like silly putty back there.

They’ve become Max’s favorite pastime when I’m standing in a line pretty much anywhere.

Does this bother you?

Cause it’s gonna happen to you, too. You should deal with that sooner than later.


I was pretty much spoiled to death yesterday and I’m still recovering. Some people call that a hangover. Which I do not have. They just call it that.

For the record, I may or may not have a hangover.

Okay, I don’t. I was just trying to sound mysterious and I’m failing. Because you can’t be mysterious when you talk about your elbows. Elbows should be spelled elboes.

Now I just sound drunk. I can’t win.

Here are things I almost can’t even stand to talk about because I’m so excited.

1. This is Riley Family Vacation week which is going to be epic. It’s epic because the kids are not used to us spending money on anything ever. Which makes it even funner. We are going to see the Pirate Exhibit and maybe going camping and also staying in Denver for 2 nights (Max is obsessed with elevators so he should be set) and we are going to get flushed down giant toilets at Waterworld (in the afternoon because it’s cheaper) and tubing down lots of way too rushing waters. Eeek!

2. I get to move on Aug. 1st ,which is like, tomorrow. But it isn’t, except in my mind, which makes no sense unless you’re me. And I am picking out paint colors with names like Spanish Olive and Dried Palm and something with a willow that makes me all silly. I love the names of paint. They make me hungry.

3. Every year I receive $25 in the mail from my mom and dad, which I hide immediately. Sometimes I forget about it. I recently found a check for Tucker. It was dated 2009. I still have it. Sorry mom. This  year I am buying a toaster oven, and I can’t even stand how mindlessly thrilled I am over it. I think I’m the Benjamin Button of appliance purchases.I should have bought one when I was 21. I never saw that movie, so if that doesn’t apply, or that’s not how you spell Benjamin, humor me. (It’s just weird for someone to marry a baby. Did that happen?)

4. I ate a lot yesterday. We walked around the lake and then went to lunch at Efrain’s and then I had a 90 minute massage and then we went to Rio for an “appetizer” and then to Centro for those freaking delicious habanero pork tacos and then I saw the pineapple upside down cake and almost died and then the chef accidentally burned it so they brought me some fancy coffee to make me forget I was waiting. It was so spiked. Then we decided to drive into the mountains and listen to the falls and see the stars up close. If you live in a place that probably feels like you died and went to the desert, allow me to rub this part in. I needed a blanket up there. It was chilly. Perfectly, deliciously chilly. Have a nice day.

5. I will be rid of the Mayor forever very,very soon. I can’t give you details, but he’s still ruining my life and asking for seconds. (Our temporary landlord scrubs his driveway. Often. But he’s not my problem. Thank the good Lord.) Our new real landlord lives in Seattle. His mom is the nicest human on the planet. A collective crossing of fingers, if you please.

This little gyspy is pretty contented. No doubt due to the limited amounts of suitcases we are all living out of.

And guess what? Not  a negative peep out of the collective caravan.

Go figure.