I finally discovered my blog site stats. I am that stupid. Until I discovered them I was happily bouncing along through my writing life enjoying my own alliterations, not explaining things on purpose and generally getting along with myself.  And laughing too much. Because I think I’m funny.

Nothing will be changing.

Just so you know, I’m super mad. My twerpy iPhoto went  all wack on me, which means that all of the fantastic instagram storytelling photos, awkwardly enhanced to make my existence seem that much more brilliant and or moodier, are just sitting in my iPhone. Sitting there waiting to be harvested. Like my eggs.

No one needs that.

By the way. I had to talk Tay and her awesome hippie friend (I swear she’s Drew Barrymore’s own offspring) out of selling their future DNA to the nearest bidder. I told them both that we do not need to be seeing more of their types. You should seriously thank me.

I should stop saying things like that.

We did move. I think you know that.

And I should mention I’m beside myself  about it.

And I am starting a series on my whereabouts. Probably without pics for now.

Because technology dreams at night about how to ruin your life.

Says the girl who just discovered site stats and writes into the air.

So here’s a true account about what’s happened in the last 24 hours since I’ve moved within walking distance to everywhere of consequence.

1.  A lady stopped me and told me I was brave to wear a hat. (My adorable birthday fedora of yesteryear.)  I asked her why? She said no one does that and I should feel mysterious. I will take this as a compliment.

2. We have a crazy tour bus called Banjo Billy’s that tours our town. Pretty much everyone is drunk on this tour. It’s the most out of place Branson bus you can imagine. I got cat called from the loudspeaker. I will kind of take this as a compliment.

3. Some nearly naked dude almost ran into me on his bike on purpose and this is how that went.

NND: oops.

ME: (staring straight ahead waiting for the little white walking man to say it’s okay to run for my life)

NND: You have pretty hair.

ME: Do I? (Super shocked because I haven’t colored my hair in a fortnight and Lord knows what he’s seeing)

NND: And you have a pretty smile.

ME: Um. Okay?

NND: Will you marry me?

ME: Um. Sure?

I will take this as a compliment when I’m dead.

Let’s not even mention the googly eyes I got from an octogenarian.

People around here need to take a day off from yoga and give their libidos a rest.

I have walked up 90 million flights of stairs in the last week.

I’ve also enrolled people in every school imaginable and cooked every meal from scratch. Flour has way too much power over me.

I am now going to throw my computer across the room. Maybe iPhoto will surrender.


Either way, you couldn’t beat the smile off of my face these days.