Today, I hated the extra hour. I already can’t stand the sun going down. What’s all the freakin rush?

I won a free pizza from Papa John’s and I also have accumulated enough points for 3 free. I’m in gluten heaven.

I might be allergic to gluten. Or I’m just getting fat.

Or something.

I think if I were a sister wife, I’d be on Snapped.

And lots of kids would go missing. Who would notice?

There’s a very weird man who just started parking his RV next door. Every day.   My dog loves him. I’m suspicious.

My husband has gone to Mexico to meet the President and confab about government stuff. Which is cool. And mysterious. And probably dangerous.

I miss that man.

Toddlers and dogs have no idea what time it is.

I might try out for the X Factor. But only after I get toned. Those over 30’s don’t stand a chance this year. And really, neither do I next year. But wouldn’t that be a fun train wreck to watch? I promise to whine a ton. And never wear waterproof mascara. And have a baby right before.

I have a new nickname. It’s Crazy Ellen. This person appears after one too many conversations with teenagers. And one too many. I just decided that was a funny thing to say.

It’s probably not.

Yeah, it is.

It’s only 8.

God help me.