It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve bared my soul.

I have been bare since then.

You weren’t invited.

So much has happened, it almost hurts.

1. Brad was invited to NYC to a Women in the World conference. I saw many, many famous people. Up close. Like, I pretended to be press and stood next to the photo area, kind of like the red carpet of events. I basically put on my tallest heels (they make me grow a good 5 inches), straightened my spine, walked with purpose and looked no one in particular in the eye. I ¬†saw Madeleine Albright, Gayle King, Angelina Jolie, Dianne Von Furstenburg, Charlie Rose, Ann someone and that other awesome lady from Good Morning America. Or was it the Today Show? Either way, I fell in love with Madeleine and wish she could be President. Also, Angelina’s hands are particularly teeny, very white and a little bit frightening. I wouldn’t say they were the doll hands from SNL but they are way close.

2. I also saw lots of people I love and appreciate more than ever. And NYC makes my heart beat a little differently.

3. I’ve had to go to the doctor lots lately. I will spare you the details.

4. I’m suddenly gluten free. The main word in gluten is glue. Which basically means no more paste for me.

5. Jerry is moving back in. He’s certifiable. Yay.

6. I turned myself in to the Police yesterday. I missed a court date for a dog at large something or other. So there was a warrant for my arrest. I was away when I was scheduled to be there. Apparently, you can’t let your dog run on school property when there is an animal control person present. By the way, those freaks pop out of nowhere. I’m positive they hide in trees.

I did this to spare my children the trauma of an arrest. Although, I would have had to buzz the police up. So, I kind of think I could have been on the lam for a good few months.

Moral of the story.

Never travel.

Here are some pics. I’ve left so much out. Like Vinny the pizza place owner dude. He struck up a conversation with me because I had a red eye. He thought I was high. (I had an eye infection. Shut it. It happens.) I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. I have an autographed menu.

This little guy had a light up collar that I was tempted to take. Ernest, his owner, had flown to Seattle to pick it up. He also feeds his dog steak and eggs. We shared a hug. He gets me.

How can you not like this?

I would have to say that I have nothing to say.

This guy is a saint. And if J.B. Stevens and Joe Yeakley had a baby, this is who it would be.

You would both be proud.

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